Monday, July 25, 2011

Is it not only by common courtesy? With no roots planted into soil, I am only withering.
Is it offensive? Subjective matter, that's shouldn't matter at all.

This entry is only to keep me in a stable frame of mind, as I feel as though I'm losing any sense of comfort in my own home. It's bothersome, unable to communicate in a way that's both positive and assertive.

Why do people insist on deliberately being down-spoken, and hateful, to others? This should never be something that is allowed into any home. It is sly, it is coy, as a root is to a home's foundation. It grows slow, delving deeper and qualifying its presence; placing cracks into what was once solid.

There will be only hollow shells. Enmity made because of love towards a brother.
When does one decide stop a foundation that has already began to crack?


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Passion will never fail you, only man.
Things seem so far fetched, now.

I remember standing in a room above a garage, middle of December, snow on the ground, with a propane heater running in the back ground.
Has it gone with age? Apathy does little to describe.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Long time, no post pt.2

It's been what, a few years? I hadn't checked up on this in a while, so I read through some older posts.
What the hell am I doing?
A lot has occurred, people have come, people have gone. A lot of things happened that I didn't want to happen. A lot of things didn't happen that should have. I'm thankful, in any regards, for a lot of things, a lot of things I took for granted, which I probably still do.

I've come to terms with a lot. I may begin to write more in this to track my thoughts and progression (or digression) in whatever venue I'm dealing with. Largely to only remind myself, because honestly I forget, and much too often.

To get you up to date, I've picked up a few things on the way from whoever I once was. Mainly the bottle, and a beautiful and loving friend named Oliver. He's about a year and half now and still as playful and charming as ever. I'm currently living with 4 (5 for the summer) of my best friends, and still play music regularly in a group called Barrow, of which all members (save one) lives under the same roof, which makes things extremely convenient for practice and writing. It's interesting, my friend, Travis, and I were having a conversation one night over at his place when it struck us that we didn't have nearly as many people around us as we used to. Not to say that I'm thankful for the friends that I have, because I certainly am. We've stuck with each other for years, and some of us for nearly a decade. A lot has changed within 2 years, and the truth is everyone has changed, I have changed. I always try to find reasons for why this is, why people leave, why the friends I have have stuck together for so long. It's not a usual group of friends, I've never heard one strike said against any of them. They're beautiful and wonderful people, full of love and kindness to share. We're a big family.

In respect to musical aspirations, that has subsided for the most part. My former band, The Heel, The Serpent had a large falling out between myself and a few others. We put out an album and had some great friends do some incredible work on it. Everyone else has moved to other bands, kids, marriage, etc. Life hits you hard around then. I took a full time job, in expectations of marrying a girl, instead of touring. I'm not getting married, and I still work a full time job. Not pouring out myself regularly is a new feeling to me, but you learn to cope with these things.

In respect to God. That's a good question.

I don't know anymore. I must have lost something. Receiving an audible answer to a question from who you were in the past, is an eerie feeling.